Parents & Allies

12 Ways Parents Can Show Support for Their Nonbinary Kids As told by a Nonbinary Kid

Your kid deserves the world. Use their name, pronouns, and other words that make them feel good. They’re looking to you for support because you’re their parent or guardian. How much you care about your kid’s gender sets the example for how much everyone else thinks they should. If you blow off their name or pronouns or requests for support, others will do the same. You don’t have to be perfect, but you do have to try your best every day. The more effort you put into broadening your understanding of gender, the easier it will become to say the right things. Your kid is awesome, and they’re lucky to have you as their caretaker. Go out there and treat them well.

Link: https://medium.com/gender-from-the-trenches/12-ways-parents-can-show-support-for-their-nonbinary-kids-37758a54668d

Camp Wildheart: A Podcast

No one plans for having a transgender kid. Camp Wild Heart is your guide for raising a transgender or non-binary child and nurturing an affirming family. We help you ease your fear and navigate your confusion. Mackenzie Dunham, clinical social worker and co-founder of Wild Heart Society, talks with parents, experts, and transgender adults about the ins and outs of coping with internalized transphobia, fostering shame resilience, exploring medical transition for youth, understanding identity development, knowing what language to use when, and more. Camp Wild Heart is full of people just like you who are lost and searching, brave and afraid, and trying best to do right by their children. You’ll cry–but never alone… and you’ll also laugh, really hard. Welcome.

Link: https://pod.link/campwildheart

Family Acceptance Project

These findings are used in a wide variety of ways to help families, providers, clergy, youth and policymakers to decrease risk and promote well-being for LGBTQ children and youth and to strengthen families.

We provide training on using our multicultural family education booklets and other resources with providers, religious leaders, parents, families, foster families and caregivers of LGBTQ youth. And we train on our evidence-informed family intervention model to reduce risk and promote well-being for LGBTQ children and youth in the context of their families, cultures and faith communities.

Link: https://familyproject.sfsu.edu/publications

Family Support: Resources for Families of Transgender & Gender Diverse Children

Many people don’t understand what it means to be transgender or gender diverse, so some parents or family members struggle when their child comes out as transgender or gender diverse. It is natural for parents to have questions, and this document, jointly created by the Biden Foundation, Gender Spectrum, and the Movement Advancement Project, highlights resources geared toward answering those questions. These resources also help parents gain deeper understanding and learn how to best support their child in ways that can help them succeed and thrive. Parents and family members will learn why family rejection is so devastating and find practical steps for advancing acceptance.

Link: https://www.lgbtmap.org/advancing-acceptance-for-parents 

Gender Odyssey Conference

Since 2001, Gender Odyssey has been an annual event attracting hundreds of people from across North America and around the world. It is an international conference focused on the needs and interests of transgender and gender diverse children of all ages, their families and supporters, and the professionals who serve them.

Our conference is packed with thought-provoking workshops, including medical information and consultation opportunities, professional education, discussion groups, networking, children and youth programming, and social events. This one-of-a-kind annual gathering attracts people from all over the world for an uplifting weekend of connection, support, and community.

Link: https://genderodyssey.org/

Gender Spectrum Parenting and Family Resources

View this collection of resources and answers to common questions to help all parents, caregivers or family members learn more about gender and youth.

“Parenthood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It’s about understanding that they are exactly the person they are supposed to be. And that, if you’re lucky, they just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be.”

Link: https://www.genderspectrum.org/audiences/parents-and-family

GLAAD’s Tips for Allies of Transgender People

These are tips that can be used as you move toward becoming a better ally to transgender people. Of course, this list is not exhaustive and cannot include all the “right” things to do or say because often there is no one “right” answer to every situation you might encounter.

Link: https://www.glaad.org/transgender/allies 

My Purple Umbrella

This is a gender-variant children’s playgroup and community network on facebook.

The mission of My Purple Umbrella is addressing harassment, intimidation, and bullying so all children learn to treat one another with dignity, compassion.

Link: http://www.facebook.com/mypurpleumbrella

Parent Resource Handout

Gender Therapists contributed to this comprehensive resource handout for parents of trans, gender expansive and non binary youth.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EflWfLIhzOtjGAySDHu1vzoMqg3gBN-HDDvPDO4JkRU/edit 

PFLAG: Whatcom Parents, Friends, & Families, of Gays & Lesbians

PFLAG National’s largest program is supporting its network of more than 400 chapters, which crosses the entire U.S. From publications to online learning programs, to advocacy support and media training, these are just a small sample of the many ways in which PFLAG National reinforces the efforts of this massive grassroots movement of passionate volunteers in communities across the country.

Link: https://pflag.org/transgender 

Privileges of Non-Transgender People

The funny thing about privilege is that typically the privileged are mostly unaware of their privileges (it’s part of the privilege). The way the world treats them just seems normal until they get to hear other people’s experiences.

Link: https://petersontoscano.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/privilege-of-non-transgender-people/

Resources for Parents and Families of LGBTQ+ Individuals

A compilation of resources for parents and families of LGBTQ individuals.

Link: http://www.ala.org/rt/sites/ala.org.rt/files/content/professionaltools/ResourcesforParentsandFamiliesofLGBTQIndividuals.pdf 

Responding Responsibly as Parents of Transgender Children

In this perspective piece, the author lists three dynamic movements parents can use to be better allies for their transgender children.

In addition to self-acceptance, it is also crucial for transgender people to find acceptance from their parents, and for many that is difficult.

Link: https://www.ncronline.org/news/opinion/responding-responsibly-parents-transgender-children

Support for Mothers of Transgender Children

It is my goal that this site offers mothers support as they navigate new meanings and a deeper appreciation of their child’s individuality.

Link: https://mothersoftransgenderchildren.wordpress.com/when-plag-doesnt-cut-it/

The Trevor Project Guide to Being an Ally for Trans and Nonbinary Youth

The guide includes:

• The difference between sex and gender
• Basics of gender — identity, expression, and perception
• Forms of address that show respect (names, pronouns, honorifics)
• Helpful tips to increase understanding
• Common mistakes and what to do if you’ve made one

Link: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Guide-to-Being-an-Ally-to-Transgender-and-Nonbinary-Youth.pdf 

Tips for Parents and Guardians of Transgender Youth

You, your child, and your family deserve love and support. Many families are uncertain about how to find knowledgeable, affirming health care, counseling resources, friends and role models for their child, and support for themselves — especially early on after learning that a child is transgender. Many families find that the beginning of this journey is the hardest and that, with time and support, life gets easier.

Link: https://fenwayhealth.org/wp-content/uploads/MA-Resource-Sheet-for-Parents-of-Transgender-Youth-V3.pdf

Trans Ally Workbook; Getting Pronouns Right and What it Teaches us About Gender

This booklet will be most useful for people who have participated in a trans inclusion of some kind, or who have at least some basic familiarity with the vocabulary of trans issues. If trans issues are totally new to you, you can still get something from this booklet, but it probably won’t be all you need to feel confident in your understanding of what it takes to be a trans ally. 

Link: https://studentaffairs.illinoisstate.edu/who/pd/conference/TRANS%20ALLY%20WORKBOOK.pdf 

TransFamily Alliance

A support community & resource hub for parents raising transgender, non-binary, & gender expansive youth.

The Main Network is accessible to any caregiver of a trans, non-binary, or gender expansive child, adolescent, or adult who has purchased a workshop or is a Member of one of the TransFamily Alliance premium groups.

Link: https://www.transfamilyalliance.com/ 

Transparenthood

Experiences raising a transgender child.

It is my hope that in sharing our uncommon journey through this blog, it will help families in the same situation find solace, and for society at large to discover acceptance for people who really are just like you and me.

Link: https://transparenthood.net/blog/

Your Pocket Guide to Trans Nonbinary Inclusion

If you’re someone who is unfamiliar with transgender and nonbinary terminology and need a simple guide on how to be inclusive, this is for you! 

Link: https://esteamane.medium.com/your-pocket-guide-to-trans-nonbinary-inclusion-35a75c5db4c9 

How to Be An Ally

Transgender teen and ally

Start here to begin to understand how to be a support to a gender expansive person.

Link: https://guidetoallyship.com

Partner Resources

Distinction Support: Supporting partners of Transgender/Non Binary people

Distinction is a support organisation which is aimed at helping people who want to or who are supporting their partner who is Transgender, Non Binary or Gender Fluid.

Having been there, we know that as your partner changes, so do you. Your partner’s changes can have significant impact on you and that’s what we are here for, we are here to help and support, we will hold you up while you get on with the important job of keeping your relationship together.

Link: https://distinctionsupport.org/

Sibling Resources

Siblings of Transgender Children

This video helps parents understand how to support the siblings of their trans child.

We will help you with any questions that make you feel uncomfortable. It is important that the siblings of the transgender or gender non-conforming feel as supported as the transgender or gender non-conforming child.

Link: http://www.kidsinthehouse.com/video/siblings-transgender-child

Transgender Allies blog post Why is My Sister a Boy Now?
Coming out and transitioning (changing one’s appearance etc) is different for everyone. There are, however, a few practically universal tips you can keep in mind to help make the process easier for you, your transgender sibling, and the rest of your family.

I hear it at every transgender community event: “I love a transgender person and I: don’t know how to support hir/ am confused/ need more information/ feel alone/ wish I could share this experience.” Is this you? Then this is your blog; to share, to ask questions, to give feedback, and above all- to know that you’re not alone. This is a hate-free zone; comments and posts must be approved. ALL people are welcome, but this blog is intended to be a resource for _ALLIES_ of transfolk.

Link: http://transgenderallies.blogspot.com/2009/10/why-is-my-sister-boy-now.html